The Bottom 100 Films

Every year, Rotten Tomatoes — the film review aggregation site — updates their list of the worst-reviewed films of all time… or at least the worst-reviewed films in the history of their site. They just recently posted their list of the Bottom 100 Films of the past decade, and it’s kind of startling to see how many extremely recent films (under a year old) are on the list. Even more startling to me is how many of the films on the list I’ve actually seen.

One of the people in this photo is mentally handicapped. Guess which one. (I think you'll be surpried.)

One of the people in this photo is mentally handicapped. Guess which one. (I think you'll be surpried.)

At my office today, my co-workers and I took great pleasure in going down the list and making fun of the films on it. At a cursory glance, I thought, “I’ve seen about twelve or thirteen of these. Maybe more.” Curiosity getting the best of me, I actually tallied how many of them I had seen.

Final count: 26.

Keep in mind that I didn’t count films that I started watching and turned off/walked out of before they were over. These are films that I have seen in their entirety. If we counted films that I had only partially seen, the number would be closer to 40, probably more.

I dare you not to stare at John Travolta's codpiece.

I dare you not to stare at John Travolta's codpiece.

For the record, I have seen almost every Uwe Boll film made. Admittedly, some of his films are hard to find, so I can’t say I’ve seen all of them. Also, I have seen Battlefield Earth… twice. Three times if you count the Rifftrax version of it. I’ve even seen Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever, the worst-reviewed film of all time. 107 reviews to its name and not one positive. Odds are, if you show this film to 100 random people, not a single one of them will like it.

In this photo, the main characters for 'Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever' try to remember their motivation.

In this photo, the main characters for 'Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever' try to remember their motivation.

I’m a glutton for punishment. I admit it. God knows I can’t hide it. Anyone who has seen some of the movies I’ve reviewed on this site knows that I willingly watch pure garbage. I blame Mystery Science Theater 3000 for culling my tolerance towards crap… although I know that’s not a very good excuse. Oh well.

So, how many films on the Bottom 100 have you seen?

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7 Responses to The Bottom 100 Films

  1. Darby Harris says:

    First off, it’s about time you posted something new!

    Also, I’m relieved to say I’ve seen none of those movies. Yay!

  2. Sebastiene says:

    “I have seen almost every Uwe Boll film made.”

    My God, and you’re still alive!? I’m guessing you must have recovered from the multiple aneurysms.

    Probably my favorite Uwe Boll moment is in “Alone in the Dark” after the pointless and unrealistic sex scene. Christian Slater and his girlfriend are running away from the monster and Tara Reid looks the wrong way–in the opposite direction of the CGI monster. *smacks head*

    I protest that BloodRayne is only #48 on the list. And I protest “Alone in the Dark” is only #15.

    And I’d like to say for the record that I’d watch “The Covenant” or “Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever” any day rather than sit through any recent Oscar Best Picture winners. Personally, I’ll take incoherent over depressing any day… which basically means I’m not their target audience. Oh, well.

  3. Darby Harris says:

    What about imdb’s list of the bottom 100 films, eh? How many of those have you seen?

    http://www.imdb.com/chart/bottom

  4. Boone says:

    Sebastiene: “Doctor” Uwe Boll films are even more awesome when you listen to his insane commentary tracks. He goes from completely deluded mad man who compliments his misunderstood genius to pissed off crazy German who hates everyone within the span of two scenes. In the commentary for ‘Alone in the Dark’, Uwe complains (at length) about how not-at-all-miscast-as-a-scientist Tara Reid refused to get naked for the VERY IMPORTANT sex scene, and that American actresses are stuck up. His commentary tracks pretty much turn the DVDs into two-films-in-one.

    Also, the Goofs page on IMDb for ‘Alone in the Dark’ is pretty funny.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0369226/goofs

    Speaking of which….

    Darby: Most of the films on IMDb’s Bottom 100 come from MST3K episodes, and because of that, I’ve seen 46 of them (and yes, that still counts, since most people on IMDb are casting their votes based on those same episodes). Almost all of the films on the list that I haven’t seen are obscure foreign films that would be hard for me to get a hold of anyway.

    However, and this sounds completely insane to normal people, I feel bad for not having seen ‘Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2′ yet. It ranks in the top (bottom?) ten on both IMDb’s and Rotten Tomatoes’ lists. Together, the lists cover the thoughts of respected, educated and published critics (Rotten Tomatoes) and the knee-jerk reactionary hive-mind of internet goons (IMDb), and the one thing they agree on is that ‘Baby Geniuses 2’ sucks. A lot. I feel like I’m missing out not having seen it. I should Netflix it… and then review it.

  5. Alaine Frick says:

    Hello, I found this page on Google and just wanted to say thanks for posting this list. I would have to agree with it, thanks again!

  6. Kaden says:

    I have seen:

    – Deck the Halls (78)
    – BloodRayne (48) [Which was not as bad as people think, imo…]
    – The Master of Disguise (18)

    Wow, I’m impressed I haven’t seen so many of them.

  7. “The Bottom 100 Films Boones Journal” was a beneficial posting.

    If only there were a whole lot more personal blogs similar to this one
    in the actual word wide web. Anyway, many thanks for your personal time, Jason

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