Dear Blog

December 14, 2008

Look, Blog, I know we haven’t been seeing each other much recently. Yes, we both agreed that we’d try a short separation and that we’d see other people. Well, I think I’m ready to come back — that is, if you’ll have me.

Oh, you know me. I haven’t been doing anything in our time apart.
Me? Seeing anyone? No, of course not.

Oh, her? She’s nothing. She was just….
Look, I had writer’s block! What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t write anything! Not only that, but nothing was going on in my life that was even worth writing about. She was there for me when I was feeling down and let me express myself creatively, but I’m back now. I’m wiser and a better person — the person you deserve to have in your life. I’m here to write again.

No, Blog, of course she didn’t mean anything. She was just… for fun.
Besides, you and I were separated at the time, so I — Blog, please don’t turn your back on me. Don’t make this harder than it already is.

I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal about this. I mean, it’s not like you didn’t see anyone while we were away.

Oh. Really? You didn’t see… anyone? Not a single person?

You don’t mean that, Blog. Blog, please stop saying that.

Look, I can say hurtful things too, you know.

I don’t think you calling me names is going to get us anywhere. I need you to listen to me. Please, Blog. Please hear what I have to say.

Blog… I’m sorry. If I hurt you, I didn’t mean to. You know how much you mean to me.
It hasn’t been easy for either of us, but I think that we can get things back to how they used to be. This is what I want for us — to start over. And this time, I’ll pay more attention to you and attend to your needs. You deserve the best that I can give you.

I love you, Blog. And I always will.



Whoring Myself to the Masses (Who Read My Blog)

October 26, 2008

After two and a half years, I’m finally making use of my YouTube account. I’m indulging in my newest hobby of making inappropriate soundtracks; putting music and audio to movie scenes in a humorous manner and thereby, belittling the hard work of hundreds of people. It’s a nice break from my job and from writing while still being creative and analyzing pace, content and structure. Honestly, I can see myself doing this for awhile… that is, until YouTube feels that I am infringing on copyright and shuts down my account.

To see the fruits of my labor, click on the following links. (The links are to the high resolution versions of the videos, but if you’d rather watch the low resolution, click on the “normal version” option under the video.)

The Matrix

The Elephant Man

Star Wars: A New Hope

The Empire Strikes Back

Return of the Jedi

Batman Begins

Close Encounters of the Third Kind

I have many more movies in the pipeline, including The Fugitive, The Godfather, A Clockwork Orange, The Shining and Titanic. If you like these (and why wouldn’t you?), please send these links to your friends. Or just direct them to my “channel” here.

You could say that I’m just whoring myself for needless attention, but I say I’m networking.

Remember, fellow writers: Editors are there to help you

October 12, 2008

Okay, so I lied about posting less YouTube videos. Sue me.